The Ultimate Wedding Assistant Checklist for CouplesPlanning a wedding is a joyful but complex project — like organizing a tiny company whose mission is love. This comprehensive checklist will help couples and their wedding assistant (whether a friend, family member, professional planner, or AI tool) stay organized from engagement to honeymoon. Use it as a master roadmap and adapt items to your culture, budget, and personal priorities.
Before you start: fundamentals to agree on
- Set a shared vision. Decide on style (formal, casual, themed), approximate guest count, and the emotional tone you want (intimate, festive, low-key).
- Agree on budget. List priorities (venue, photography, food, music) and assign approximate percentages.
- Create a planning calendar. Mark your wedding date and reverse‑engineer deadlines for major decisions.
- Decide on roles. Clarify who’s responsible for what (lead planner, wedding assistant, vendor liaison, family contacts).
12–18 months before
- Choose a date range and backup dates.
- Draft an initial guest list to estimate size and budget.
- Book the venue(s) for ceremony and reception.
- Hire a wedding assistant or planner if desired.
- Research and reserve key vendors: photographer, videographer, caterer, and band/DJ.
- Start a wedding folder (physical and digital) for contracts, receipts, and inspiration.
- Start a gift/registry plan.
- Begin drafting a wedding website with date, location, and lodging info.
9–12 months before
- Finalize guest list and send save‑the‑dates.
- Choose wedding party members and announce roles.
- Shop for wedding dress and start alterations timeline.
- Book florist and discuss floral concepts and budget.
- Reserve transportation for couple and guests if needed.
- Research accommodation blocks for out‑of‑town guests.
- Meet with officiant and discuss ceremony structure and legal requirements.
6–9 months before
- Finalize menu and cake tasting with caterer/baker.
- Book hair and makeup artists; schedule trials.
- Order bridesmaid dresses and groomsmen attire.
- Arrange rentals (linens, chairs, tents, lighting).
- Plan engagement photos or pre‑wedding shoots.
- Start drafting ceremony readings and music selections.
4–6 months before
- Send formal invitations or finalize invitation designs.
- Finalize ceremony details with officiant; select vows and readings.
- Confirm photographer/videographer shot lists.
- Create a preliminary timeline for the wedding day.
- Book rehearsal dinner venue and plan guest list.
- Apply for marriage license requirements and timeline in your jurisdiction.
2–4 months before
- Mail invitations (typically 8–10 weeks before).
- Finalize guest count and begin seating plan draft.
- Finalize playlist and must‑play/do‑not‑play lists with DJ/band.
- Confirm attire fittings and start final dress/suit adjustments.
- Confirm floral arrangements and boutonnières.
- Arrange wedding favors and signage.
1 month before
- Confirm final headcount with vendors; provide numbers to caterer.
- Print or prepare place cards, seating charts, and programs.
- Create a detailed day‑of timeline (vendor arrival, ceremony start, speeches).
- Confirm vendor arrival times and contact information.
- Prepare emergency kit (safety pins, stain remover, sewing kit, band‑aids).
- Finalize and share transportation plans and parking information.
- Distribute wedding day responsibilities to wedding assistant and party.
1–2 weeks before
- Reconfirm all vendor arrangements in writing; share the final timeline.
- Provide vendor meals and any special instructions.
- Pack for honeymoon if leaving shortly after the wedding.
- Delegate tasks: who will collect gifts, who will return rentals, who will handle final payments and tips.
- Have final dress/suit pick‑ups and one last fit check.
The wedding week
- Give copies of the timeline to vendors, wedding party, and family.
- Hold rehearsal and rehearsal dinner; confirm procession order and readings.
- Hydrate, sleep, and delegate last‑minute tasks to your wedding assistant.
- Delegate someone (often the wedding assistant) to be the point person for vendors and guests on the day.
Wedding day — Wedding Assistant’s quick checklist
- Arrive early and set up emergency kit where it’s accessible.
- Confirm vendor arrivals and placements.
- Distribute final payments and tips in sealed envelopes.
- Manage the ceremony flow: cue music, coordinate processional, and assist officiant if needed.
- Keep the couple on schedule and relaxed; handle issues discreetly.
- Oversee post‑ceremony logistics (line up for photos, transition to reception).
- Monitor food timing, speeches, and timeline during reception.
- Collect gifts, guest book, and personal items at the end of the night.
- Ensure rentals are packed/returned and vendors depart as planned.
Post‑wedding tasks
- Confirm vendor final invoices and issue payments or tips if not already given.
- Ensure photographer/videographer delivery timeline and special requests.
- Return any rentals and collect personal items left at venue.
- Send thank‑you notes or delegate sending within the couple’s desired timeframe.
- Review contracts and follow up any outstanding issues.
Tools and templates a wedding assistant should have
- Master checklist (editable spreadsheet).
- Vendor contact list with contracts and phone numbers.
- Day‑of timeline (15–30 minute increments).
- Emergency kit checklist.
- Seating chart template and invitation RSVP tracker.
- Sample scripts for MC or ceremony cues.
- Budget tracker with actual vs. estimated costs.
Tips for a smooth working relationship with your wedding assistant
- Communicate expectations and boundaries early.
- Give them authorization limits (e.g., vendor spending cap).
- Provide one central place (cloud folder) for all documents.
- Trust them to solve small problems; focus on decisions only when needed.
- Compensate or thank them appropriately — their work is often long and stressful.
Common pitfalls to avoid
- Leaving vendor booking until the last minute.
- Overloading one person with too many duties without support.
- Not confirming logistics for out‑of‑town guests (transport, lodging).
- Skipping a rehearsal or failing to share timeline with vendors.
This checklist covers the majority of tasks a wedding assistant and couple will encounter. Tailor timelines and items to your wedding size, location, and cultural traditions for best results.
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